Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I could make wine with my vomit
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
