you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
