another moral hangover. fuck.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize