hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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