what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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