By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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