So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize