I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
