i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize