i already hear my dad disowning me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
