Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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