rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
