I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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