What a fucking waste of an outfit
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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