I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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