I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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