i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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