you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
