I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
