goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
