I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
