Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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