So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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