Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
