when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
