He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think people are normalizing furries
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
