So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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