is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
