just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
