That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
