I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize