I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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