haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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