bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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