Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
