Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
