i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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