You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
