Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
