Your tits are I can't wait for
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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