Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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