you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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