you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize