yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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