I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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