just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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