Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
