Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
God I need to hump something, right now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
