i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
