I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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