i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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