my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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