its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
