Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
