Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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