If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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