forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize