I cockslap morals
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
