yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize