The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
