I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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