Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
