I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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