He kissed a someone with a penis
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize