I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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