dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
