Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
