so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So much rum. So many feels.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
