They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
