Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
