Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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