Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
