I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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