Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
